I think, therefore I’m wrong
By Jason Dagenhart
Round Table reporter
What’s the most common theme among relationships? Perhaps it is the love that the two birds share, or the tenderness they show in their hearts, or maybe it’s even the long list of things they want to do together. Wrong! The most common theme (and possibly rule) among relationships is that The-Guy-Is-Always-Wrong. Never has the man in the relationship actually ever been the man in the relationship. That’s just an act, a very good act that has been played for centuries behind the scenes by history’s greatest women (so every one of them right?)
They say behind every great man is an intelligent women, pulling the strings from the sidelines and pressing her opinions upon him and orienting him in the direction she so chooses. If there were any good ventriloquists in the world, they would be women. They are nearly half the population of the world and they have us all tied around strings and dancing to the tango of their will.
Or so they think…
Sometimes women are wrong. They might say something and it is quite possibly as incorrect as a dancing elephant in a circus, as unbelievable as it is. If this ever happens to you, please take a picture or a video recording of this historic event for it rarely happens to even the most intelligent of us and it needs to be documented.
Sometimes, through sheer luck, the man in the relationship is the one who is right. I’m not saying the man is always right, no, not at all, according to most women, but we aren’t always wrong either. Just because we’re males doesn’t mean we are automatically absent-minded and dim-witted about the entirity of decision-making or even the mundane facts. I know most of the physical features that are shown when someone is lying, I know that the Hox gene in our DNA controls body growth, and I am going into psychology as my major. I am far from stupid, so I sometimes win an argument and am I sometimes right (don’t hear that too often, huh?)
Now I’m not bashing women. I would never intentionally be antagonizing towards any female; it’s not in my nature to do so. I just find the whole concept of the “women always being right” slightly humorous and am being completely satirical about it.
I do think, however, that it would be a very valuable experience to meet a woman who admitted she was wrong in the relationship; my own girlfriend has trouble getting over me being right periodically and it drives her insane, but I think if I met a female who graciously accepted that a male was right in the relationship, I would surely faint.
So the next time your girlfriend or wife tries to claim that you’re some ignorant Neanderthal and don’t know jack about beans, tell her that you are sometimes actually right and that just because you’re a man, doesn’t mean you’re wrong. I, for one, would like to hear the three simple words “you are right” a little more often.