It’s officially January. Christmas has come and gone. Confetti from New Year’s Eve has blown away. Does this mean that our sense of “holiday spirit” and civility is gone with the wind too?

By definition, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary has coined civility as meaning “a polite act or expression,” but does the grasp of civility end at the extent of common courtesy and conversational niceties?

I believe that civility envelopes and encompasses the pinnacle of the human experience and everything that it towers over: love.

Love is manifested in many forms; acceptance, kindness, empathy, honesty, even pain. At the core of it all, we as human beings gravitate towards acceptance.

We desire that extra like on Instagram as a mark of affirming our importance. We crave that gold star to satisfy some sense of achievement. We frame report cards adorned with straight A’s to prove our worth, whether to ourselves or to others.

If all that we do is to build up ourselves, what becomes of our civility?

If we choose to be civil and kind, beyond being polite and courteous, we can achieve that unity we preach so often.

So, how can we practice what we preach?

Be beyond kind, be empathic. Don’t just walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, but choose to walk with them. Choose to actively listen for the intention of understanding them better, not to wait until we can interject our own opinions. Be willing to sit right next to them rather than extending a pole and simply stating, “there, there.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, being a generally kind person who holds doors and says “good morning” is not made any less important. Pleases and thank yous are still appreciated, along with all those manners our parents and elementary school teachers instilled in us, but more than this, it’s time that we grow up to assume our civic duty, our spheres of influence are much larger than we may believe.

The things we say may spread like wildfire in our schools. The tweets and pictures we post are made public for the world of social media to see. The lives we touch, that is how we will leave our legacy on a global perspective that has the capacity to span generations.

If we are willing to look beyond our own wants to address the needs of others, I believe that civility will be preserved and cherished.