I make excuses for people I care about.  

You never want to change someone, though you always wish deep down, that people could become different. I think people are stuck making the same mistakes and not apologizing for them, because change is seen as such a bad thing. If you want someone to change, then you’re seen as a bad person, because no one should have to change for someone else.

This is where excuses come into play. You excuse the bad parts of someone for fear of trying to change him or her. Then you end up becoming this feeble, weaker version of yourself all for the sake of preserving a relationship. All the while, the unchanging people you associate with go on thinking they are entitled to act how they want.

I can only think of one reason people tolerate the things they want to change in others; because they care. People meet, they like each other, they spend time together, ultimately they end up caring about each other, and this is their downfall. It is so hard to let go of a toxic relationship because emotion compels you to stay with your flawed counterpart. It happens all the time.

Now you find yourself wrapped up in spending time with someone you care about, but you begin to see their flaws; maybe a bad cigarette habit or an unreliable or bipolar personality. This starts to put a strain on your relationship and you want to fix the problem. But when you go to confront the person, he or she accuses you of trying to change him or her. You’re trapped.

We can’t call people out on their flaws, so instead we excuse and accept them.  Or we leave them and carry emotional pain with us on the way out.

I personally have battled with accepting people and ignoring their flaws. Recently, I stopped talking to one of my close friends for numerous reasons but mainly because of my inability to accept her inconsistent personality. I have since grown to accept the way she is because of my preference to have bumps in our friendship rather than losing her altogether. Sometimes, it’s very hard, and often I find myself making excuses for her when she neglects things. But I decided our friendship was worth the bumps, so I’m learning to accept.

I have joined the fray and am learning to accept my friends. It’s going okay. I think making excuses for people is lame, but if you care enough to accept their flaws, it can be worth the struggle.